Hook Story Offer – Why Your Sales Funnel Not Working

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How To Optimize Sales funnel - hook story offer

Waste a lot of time to build a sales funnel but it doesn’t work? Today, Funnel Secrets will help you how to optimize sales funnel and finger out the reason why your sales funnel not convert.

Then we are going to fix it.

Now, Let get started!

Optimize sales funnel with Hook Story Offer?

Have a sales funnel will help you make a lot of money by selling your products or services, right?

But Funnel Builder is really hard.

You must do so many steps. It was like:

  • Create a lead magnet
  • Design landing page
  • Write a copy
  • Create video
  • …

Then, when it complete, you realize your sales funnel doesn’t convert.

Want to learn and launch your funnel step-by-step from zero? Funnel Builder Secrets will help you.

In my experience, there are 3 main reasons why your sales funnel doesn’t work as well

  1. Hook
  2. Story
  3. Offer

Yes, it so many reason to made your sales funnel dead. But these are the 3 main reasons that I saw many people have.

1. Hook

A hook is a piece of metal used to catch things…most popularly, fish.

When you go fishing, you put your bait on a hook. After all, if you were to just throw a bunch of bait in the water, it would be very difficult to catch any fish right? But when you combine bait with the hook, the fish is naturally attracted to the bait, and the hook is what stops them from swimming in the direction they were going, and instead, takes them into the other direction (aka your boat).

The hook is an essential part of the selling process because it causes two actions in our potential customers:
1. It stops them from whatever they are doing (scrolling, reading, etc.).
2. It repositions their focus and attention on you (or your ad, your sales page, your

The hook is a way of presenting your news or story that stimulating the attention of the audience that you are trying to reach.

It’s may be:

  • Title
  • Image
  • Video
  • Question
  • ..

Hook usually using on the Ads and Squeeze Page. So, if you have problems with your Ads or Opt-in rate, you must change your title, image or video.

I often change the advertising content, express many different messages and follow the customers’ comments.

After we have a good advertisement (base on the proportion of Clicks), next we will try to raise the proportion of Opt-in.

Normally in this web, we change the title.

So, this is the reason why I usually advise my customers to use Funnel Scripts

Hooks are a part of everything you do online. Every email, advertisement, landing page, sales page, or webinar needs to lead with a hook or people won’t pay any attention to you. Let’s look at a bunch of examples of hooks since it takes a little while to learn how to “think” in hooks.

How To Find A Hook

I’m convinced one of the reasons why people skip over this is because it’s hard. It’s honestly one of the hardest parts of the whole selling process. But once you have a great hook, everything becomes infinitely easier.

Here are four ways to look for a good hook:

  1. Look in your past or childhood. Is there anything that happened that would make a good story? Pick the juiciest part of the story and lead with that as the hook.
  2. Look at your struggles or obstacles. Is there something that you’ve done or had done to you that will make a good story? Pick the juiciest part of the story and lead with that as the hook.
  3. Try to create a story by doing something cool or crazy. If you don’t have anything in your past or with your struggles, could you do something to make an amazing story? If so, what’s the one line you can pull out that would act as your hook?
  4. Look at the “common” wisdom and throw rocks at it. What are people currently thinking, doing, talking about, with regards to the common wisdom of the day? Can you poke holes in it? If so, what would be that one line that would act as your hook?

2. Story

Story telling - optimize sales funnel

After finishing the first step, we have a good advertisement and good proportion of Opt-in. The next step is converting the potential customers to the buyers.

Normally this work will process in the mid-stage of a sales funnel.

If you are an Affiliate marketer, this work will be much easier, you can move the customers to the sales page of vendor or create a Bridge Page to contact and increase the flow of accession, so we can raise the converting proportion.


If you sell your product or service, this work will be more difficult than you think.

You must have not only the scripts of the funnel but also suitable reasons to convert your customers.

That is the reason why you must have a great STORY

The story gives the context of the hook. It also serves to bond the seller to the customer. Have you ever seen a movie where you don’t even care what happens to the main character? That’s because the producers and writers didn’t tell the right story. They didn’t create enough context or meaning to give you any emotional attachment to the character. The selling process is an emotional one, so we all need to get really good at telling stories.

To do it well, I advise you to read the books: Dotcom Secrets and Expert Secrets.

These books will give you the scripts that are suitable for each funnel.

Especially, Expert Secrets will help you to know how to create a popular movement, and the potential customers will know you as an expert in your field. 

In the same time, it helps you to have some story attracting them, create interesting greeting and increase the converting proportion.

Again, you should pick up a copy because it will change your life.

An Epiphany Bridge script breaks down like this, and once you practice it – it’ll come naturally.

  • Backstory What happened, or what is the context that led you to look for a solution to your problem or desire?
  • Desire What did you want to accomplish?
  • Wall What problem did you face when you started this journey?
  • Epiphany What was the Aha! moment? What did it feel like?
  • Plan What was the plan you used to get the result you wanted?
  • Conflict What conflict did you experience along the way?
  • Achievement – What was the result?
  • Transformation How did it change you?

3. Offer

The third problem of your sales funnel is Offer. It seems very simple but this is one of the most important things that make your funnel doesn’t work.

You create advertisement attracting your customers; your lead magnet processes well, the proportion of opt-in is high.

But at last no one buys your products.

A good hook and story create the right environment for your customer to buy….as long as your offer is irresistible and WHAT THEY WANT.

Notice I’m saying the word “offer” and not product. That’s because products are commodities. Think about gas stations.
Everyone sells gas, and there is a million places you can buy gas. So everyone is selling the same product. The customer drives to whatever gas station is the closest or whoever is the cheapest. They all compete on convenience and price.

If that’s your business, that’s a horrible business to be in because now you’re chasing people down to the bottom and your margins are going to get smaller and smaller until eventually, you have no profit whatsoever.

Offers take you out of the competition entirely.

How to Create a Great Offer

This is another one of those topics that you could go deep on for months, and I encourage you to do so after the challenge. But for now, we’re going to use a simple process to craft an offer.

Let’s pull up those four products again:

  1. Stick of deodorant
  2. A book on budgeting
  3. A bag of exotic Colombian coffee beans
  4. A new pair of running shoes

3 ways to increase the converting proportion on the landing page

1. Simplicity

The simplicity is the key.

We don’t need to create so long page with many animations such as pop-up, exit window, flashing words with colors. Sometimes these things do not work as we expect.

Therefore, we have to make the landing page simply and professionally.

I have had experiments on many different landing pages, and almost pages that have a high proportion of opt-in are short and simple (sometimes it just has the title and form, information).

Optimize sales funnel - Funnel give away
Sign-up Page Example From Funnel Give Away

Notes: this way just benefits for squeeze pages – places having many presents FREE or filling their information to receive some gifts (video training, checklist, PDF, ebook…). If you sell high –ticket product, you have to make a longer and more detailed page..

2. Making curiosity

This is the important factor to make potential customers click to your advertisement and fill some of their information.

As we show above, the landing page needs simplicity, with a curious title and interesting content. It will help you to increase your converting proportion a lot.

Example: When you give some your information: “You will receive A, B, C,… and it will help X, Y, Z”. You don’t have to give much information to them.

Just provide enough information.

marketing secrets blackbook sign-up page
Sign-up Page Example From Marketing Secrets Blackbook

Please choose the best thing that your customer will receive with a curious and interesting title.

Your converting proportion will be improved.

3. The clarity

Always remember to be clear and honest to your customers

Finding followers is really hard, but keeping them with us is more difficult…

Don’t ask them to leave some information to receive something free. After that, they have to pay money to use the functions of those things.

When creating OTO – bump or one click upsell, you need to let them know that.

This is a new product and they have to pay more money if they want to use them. Don’t make confusion if you don’t want to increase the proportion of refunding.


These are some reasons and experiences to help you know why your sales funnel doesn’t work and the solutions to solve the problems.

I hope “optimize sales funnel guide” will help you increase the conversion of your sales funnel.

If you meet difficulty in making script for landing page and also the story for your business,

Please take this Dotcom Secrets Book and Expert Secrets book. (These books are free, you just pay once for the printing and shipping).

In the same time, you can also use Funnel Scripts to make the advertisement, titles, webinar, scripts,… easily.

You can read the review and see the demo here.

Good luck!

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Key Nguyen

Key is the guy behind Funnel Secrets blog, where he shares his passion for sales funnel, lead generation, digital marketing, and what he learned to help people avoid mistakes he made to save money.

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